Monday, September 12, 2011

Here

Things have levelled out a little round these parts. Since the boys arrived it's all been a bit day to day. Twins do that to you. I've never really written about our experience of finding ourselves parents of multiples. Never quite found the words to describe how it all goes being flung from mother of one to mother of three. Occasionally I have gone to write it all down for the record, but never quite know where to start. As my better half so aptly stated, it kind of sounds as if you are having a whinge or asking for a pat on the back - and really neither of us feel the need for either of these things, so we tend to just keep things close. But for the best part of 15 months we have lived a life that can be described as nothing short of perpetual motion; bewildering at times; intense and all consuming, a little lonely in parts ... but an experience that has stripped us back to recognise what gets us through and what keeps it sweet. We have become Team Burns, wearing the t-shirt that sees us rely so seemlessly on each other we rarely stop to ponder how we got here intact. But here is good. Here three smalls slumber by 7.30pm. Here three smalls wake after 7.15am. Here two wee boys slumber for 2-3 hours in the middle of the day. Here dinner is at 5pm and bath time follows. Here we sit on the couch together in the evening silence and hold hands. Here a routine guides our day like a ticking clock. A metronome to keep us dancing in time and singing in tune. Here we have embraced routine without embarrassment. Here we don't deviate often. Here is not there. To get to this point was a whirlwind of second guessing and experimenting. There has been endless questioning, both spoken and unspoken, whispered, laughed and sobbed on how would get through. A dialogue; just two. Words and fears rarely shared with others. It was just hard to explain. We clung to the belief that we would get some sort of space back. Space for a breath or two.

So here we are.

Breathing.

11 comments:

Tania said...

Cripes, Sweetpea - I hope you haven't jinxed things (which is why I am talking about jinxing because saying it cancels the jinx stuff out). As you were. Breathing.

(yay for the arrival of packages!)

mrs smith said...

What a team you are, you Burnses. Formidable!
You two are capable of anything and everything. You two should shine with pride at the way you so competently manage your lives. It is a blessing to be around.
I love you, Burnses.

Fran said...

so eloquently put - so understandable.

Routines are good, nay GREAT!

What doesn't kill you will surely make you stronger?!

So glad to hear you are still breathing, holding hands and ticking along :)

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Shell shocked though you must both have been , you kept on going with your customary grace and humour .
Routine and skilful organisation , and lots of love and fun !
I think you're about ready for triplets now , don't you ?

Kris said...

I'm so pleased that things are calming down, smoothing out, lightening up.

I' was never dealt a pair but I remember when Al and I started to emerge out of the baby fog - I felt like
I was starting to get my groove back. What a gift! And what possibilities! And what satisfaction at having made it through the worst of it.

Do you want some raspberry canes to celebrate? We've got loads we don't need.

Kris

Recycled Relix said...

I love the photos Gemma. And I so want your routine. My son is flat out going to bed by 10pm. You have done so well - and tell Duncan that it is ok to write about it - as we are all in wonderment of how you do it!

hideyo. said...

beautifully writtn. beautiful snapshots of moments in your life.

Isis said...

:)

Fer said...

Gosh, you've made me go all gooey...

Beautiful words, I'm so glad you wrote them down. :)

Sally said...

It sounds like a good "here". Sounds like your team is awesome.
So glad that you've made it to a space where you can come up for breath. Keep holding hands and you're "here" will always be a good space.

Rachael said...

What a lovely post. Would love to know how you get babies to sleep - please share your wisdom! 16 month d Louis is impossible... Xxx